WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the Pentagon scrambles to follow President Donald Trump’s marching orders to plan a military parade, plans have been unveiled for a golden image of the president to lead the procession. The height of the solid gold image is to be sixty cubits and its width, six cubits. Citing “ancient inspiration,” for the idea, a White House spokesperson said that the president wanted the image to look “Babylon-style YUGE.”
To aid in the construction of the golden image, a custom-built fiery furnace has been constructed in the White House basement. The White House has warned that anyone that opposes the creation of the golden image or the extravagant display of military might would “feel some serious heat.”
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