Pope visits General Conference to congratulate leaders on keeping ordination male-only

Pope Francis
Pope Francis
SILVER SPRING, Md. — On the morning of the first full day of his visit to the United States, Pope Francis paid a surprising visit to the General Conference headquarters of the Seventh-day Adventist Church. Apologizing that he didn’t have a lot of time to socialize, the pontiff said that he nevertheless wished to extend his congratulations and heartfelt thanks for the efforts of Adventist church leaders in keeping the ordination of ministers within the denomination a male-only institution.

Praising GC executives and their appointees as “heroes of the age-old Catholic tradition of maintaining exclusively male priests” the pope stressed that despite distinct differences between the Adventist and Catholic doctrines and traditions, he was elated that Adventist delegates had voted overwhelmingly to uphold Roman Catholic tradition this summer.

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“I have to say that I am highly impressed and more than a little bit surprised,” joked the pope before returning to nearby Washington DC. “Perhaps your next vote should be in favor of celibacy for all clergy.”


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    • Henry O'Ford

      They told him about the free haystacks lunch, and he kept saying, “What do you mean? What is that?” When they finally gave him the haystack, he exclaimed, “Oh! That’s a taco salad! You guys need to learn English!”

  1. Richard Mills

    The Pope and Ted Wilson-clasping hands across the gulf. Where was that photo op?
    Was the Pope also visiting the Jesuits at the GC? Just wondering, I mean wandering after the beast, 666 of Revelation. Maybe the Pope wants to canonize a past GC President or founder of the SDA Church!! Woe is me!!

  2. Most amazing of all: Pope Francis knelt and kissed Pope Ted’s ring. Then they high-fived each other for forcing their denominations to maintain the discriminatory Jesuit Catholic practice of male-only ordination. Both Pope Francis and Pope Ted are vehement opponents of women’s ordination. Both are treated as infallible. Both are wrong.

  3. “Perhaps your next vote should be in favor of celibacy for all clergy.”

    LOL! That is one of the best lines in the history of BarelyAdventist, following closely behind the # 1 line: “The word on the street is to stay away from anyone over 90 with a King’s Heralds sticker on their walker” . . . after the vicious self-defense tactics of Loma Linda centenarian Edith Greenley sent a would-be robber to the hospital for stitches.

    • Marcus Aurelius

      In case Doug Batchelor needs help expressing his question in Latin, I’m offering this draft, which I believe captures what he is planning to ask, in Latin:

      “Franciscus Pontifex, quare postulas ne mulieres ex consecratae manus ut sacerdotio? Diligenter inspicere docendo male facis idem doceo. Quaeso ut queri possum committitur feminarum ex ordine sacerdotum ordinem Jesuitarum mulierum.”

      (Which, being interpreted, could mean: “Pope Francis, why do you insist on preventing women from being ordained as priests? You are making me look bad by teaching exactly the same thing as I teach. Please start ordaining women as priests so I can [honestly] blame the Jesuits for women’s ordination.”)

  4. Jack O'Lantern

    SORRY TO HEAR that Pope Francis has fallen ill and will not be able to perform the mass to canonize Junipero Serra. Finding himself in quite a bind, he placed an emergency call to the Adventist Pope Ted, begging him to fill in for the occasion. Pope Ted willingly agreed, with a couple of conditions: 1) that he be allowed to perform the mass in English; and 2) that he be allowed to canonize St. Ellen instead of St. Junipero. Upon reflection, Pope Francis agreed, stating: “Anything for my fellow leader who railroaded the GC delegates to maintain men’s-only ordination. When I get well, I’ll make you and Doug Batchelor honorary Jesuits.”

    • Lurl

      Marcus Aurelius: Translation of what you really wrote. Try going back to school! Pope Francis, not the women and consecrated to minister in the priest ‘Why do you ask? Look carefully at the same thou doest ill teach by teaching. Is entrusted to the women of the complaint to make against the order of the Jesuits, the order of the priests, I beseech thee to women. “

  5. Milly Brown-Rice

    This site is perpetuating lies in the name of “satire.” Satire is one thing; lies are another. This site is neither one! What a shame. You can stop hiding behind that silly screen name (“sevvy”). We know who you are; our private eye has identified you as Zhang Wei Foo of Shanghai, China. Why not use your time and talent to write something true and worthwhile, like The Adventures of Captain Underpants? Nobody–and I mean nobody–even reads this site anymore; and all these people who write comments are a big bunch of losers (including me). What is the world coming to? A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore!

    • Leaf Ericson

      Are you a doubter, Jan? Don’t you believe he went there to make that comment, and drove his popemobile right up onto Ted’s desk, and Donald Trumpet went there to donate a billion dollars to ADRA, and the moon is made of cheese, and little green men are invading the U.S., and Elvis is still alive and hiding on a UFO, and Michael Jackson faked his own death and is about to start a surprise come-back tour, and Doug Batchelor has become the strongest proponent of equal ordination? Are you a doubter, my dear Jan? Poor “Doubting Jan”!

  6. igor dimeaux

    I also heard that the Pope also comnended the SDA theologians for their interpretation of the Revelation ch 13. He supposedly said: “you adventists were right. Never before was one of us (popes) alowed to speak to a joint session of the Congress. Your interpretation (of Rev. 13) on Vatican and America looks correct but I can’t officially endorse it for obvious reasons”
    That’s il Papa for you.

    • Lurl

      May each of your churches be infiltrated with a REAL JESUIT PRIEST. Perhaps you will learn humility, how to honor others and to appreciate the place of Holy Father Pope Francis in the lives of more than you can ever hope to reach.
      Good thing you do your churching on Saturday (Saturn’s Day) as that is the formal day off for all Jesuits and they will no doubt visit you shortly.

  7. Ajack Simon

    To me, that was not the concrete reason for pope visit in SDA GC, there must be an implications and that is all about the interpretation of Rev:13 of which the Bible and SDAs are not wrong to referred him as beast and USA as lamb like beast as well

  8. Kubaruho Rogers.

    The pope visiting the Gc has no problem coz Adventist believe only in the teachings of the bible and the writings of Ellen white as the right full interpreter of the scriptures guided by the Holy spirit. So the pope can’t change the scriptures.

  9. Val Upload

    Pope Francis visits to GC indicates that the endtime is really very near, acceptance of him to enter the holy ground of the worldwide SDA church means a lot to the general Catholic population that they will be converted into the Bible Truths before the end comes.

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