Adventist Anti-Drum Lobby Solves Dilemma By Removing Hearing Aids

ADVENTIST WORLD — Anti-drum activists in the Adventist Church have finally decided to lay down their arms and solve the percussion problem that has driven them crazy since the start of the 1990s music wars.

Rather than try to convince everyone of the evils of a beat, the no-drums warriors are simply removing their hearing aids.

“My hearing was a lot better when I first started writing the church board about that horrible drum defiling the sanctuary,” said Grouch Oh, part-time elder at Turbulence SDA Church.

“I now simply remove my hearing aid the minute praise and worship begins,” he added. “It’s works way better.”

Oh said that his fellow anti-drum campaigners across the denomination have come to similar conclusions and have decided to “raise hell more discerningly going forward.”


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