Adventist filmmakers threaten to boycott Oscars after getting no nominations. Ever.

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HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Seventh-day Adventist filmmakers have announced their plans to boycott the Feb 26, 2016 Oscars Ceremony. The filmmakers explained that the decision not to attend the Academy Awards stemmed from the fact that Adventist filmmakers have never, in the history of the show, been nominated for an Oscar.

The Adventist boycott follows quickly on the heels of widely-publicized appeals by a number of actors to boycott the awards ceremony over consistent lack of ethnic diversity in Oscar nominees.

The initial call, supported by numerous A-list celebrities, garnered a definite reaction from the Academy which promised to double minority and female membership in the Academy by 2020 as well as adding three seats to the Academy’s board of governors to increase diversity in leadership.

In response to the Adventist boycott threat, Academy spokesperson Max Contrition said “Who?”

Contrition added that he had never heard of the Adventists’ feature-length drama about the Kellogg brothers’ rivalry or their nuanced documentaries on the origins of Linkettes.

“Listen, I didn’t even know these guys were invited,” said Contrition, adding that he had little time to look into their grievances. “Their section of five nosebleed seats may just have to remain empty.”



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  1. Richard Mills

    Whatever happened to that SDA guy who is supposed to be high up in the Hollywood film industry. Isn’t he witnessing? Or is he just collecting a paycheck? I want to know. All my fans want to know. What is he up to? I say, we all boycott those Oscar programs. They contribute nothing to our salvation. Woe iz me. I really mean it this time!!

  2. Ray Kraft

    Maybe the Adventist filmmakers should lookly deeply into their own hearts and souls and ask, Why have we never been nominated for Best Picture? One possibility is that to get nominated, the movie has to be interesting.

    I mean, to somebody besides the guy who made it.

    Take, for instance, “Sicario,” which in Spanish means “hitman,” it’s at Redbox now, about the drug wars in Mexico, it was a lot more interesting than the one about the history of Linkettes. I mean, ya know, ya seen one Linkette, ya seen ’em all.

    Maybe they could try a suspense-drama-mystery movie about the theological debate over whether Ellen G. White plagiarized Joseph Smith, or Joseph Smith plagiarized Ellen G. White, or they both plagiaruzed each other, or the Angel (Gabriel Moroni) spoke to both and told them both the same things.

    Did Joseph Smith really show Ellen G. White the golden plates from which he took the Book of Mormon, as the rumor goes? And did she really translate them while in trance, holding them aloft with one hand and tracing the inscriptions with the fingers of the other, as he wrote down what she read?

    Yeah, a real nail biter about the origins of both the Adventist and Mormon churches should nail best picture, best screenplay, best cinematography, best director, best actor and actress, best supportings, best score, best everything fer sher.

    1. Donald Trumpette

      Thank you, Ray. No go drink a hot cup of Postum and eat some tasty Linkettes. Throw in a few Little Debbie’s and some Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider for good measure.

  3. Arlyn Drew

    Sharing some lighter posts:

    Bruce Jones
    Also not mentioned was the SDA blockbuster ” Who Threw The Rock” although being a hit in SDA communities it failed to gain a mainstream audience…. Perhaps the lack of Hollywood stars and enemas took it’s toll as well.

    Arlyn Drew
    “Sanctuary in the Cornfield” a sleeper SDA cult classic was also overlooked, it went on to spawn several sequels, “Who’s on Trial Next?”, “The Last Generation”, and of course, the apocalyptic “The Mark of the Beast.”

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