Adventist with zero spiritual gifts banished to potluck dishwashing duty

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CHICO, Calif. — Sondage Mauvais of Chico Seventh-day Adventist Church was notified this week that due to the horrible scores on his spiritual gifts test, he has been assigned to doing the dishes after potluck each week.

Mauvais immediately appealed the decision handed down from the church board, but local self-appointed analysts say there is little chance he will be successful.

“We’ve been over his spiritual gifts results more than once and quite frankly, he scored so low we couldn’t pin any gift category on him,” said spiritual gifts committee spokesperson Rick Warren.

Mauvais has reluctantly agreed to do the dishes, but only if he gets “exclusive dibs on lasagna seconds,” and the church agrees to retest him for “dormant prophetic abilities.”


Single, separated, divorced and widowed Adventists who want to change that status wanted.


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  1. richard mills

    What this church needs to do is go to all paper. Recyclable & reuseable stuff, of course. Plastic silver ware. paper cups, etc. If you bring a dish of food, bring home the empty dish and clean it up after Sabbath. See, problem solved. It takes beautiful people to make this happen. Are you all on board? If not, make up a committee and figure it out! The worst punishment for this guy is to sit & eat the pot luck food. Better to feast on Little Debbies than to starve on those awful starchy, non-fiberous foods passed off as pot luck! Woe iz me!

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