Back Pew Critic Never Done Anything Constructive In Life

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Lifelong Adventist Jerry Backlash, has been dubbed the Back Pew Critic at his local Longsuffering SDA Church for his remarkable talent for pointing out flaws in every aspect of church life while never lifting a finger to help.

Whether it’s the music selection during Sabbath morning song service, the quality of the potluck dishes, or the pastor’s sermons, Jerry can always be found in the back pew, ready to offer his unsolicited critique.

“I’ve never seen anyone so committed to critiquing everything,” said Mary Faithful, a fellow church member. “Jerry is like our very own Yelp reviewer, but he’s never even volunteered to usher or sing in the choir.”

Jerry’s been known to write lengthy emails to the church board outlining the many shortcomings of the annual Christmas concert, yet he’s never once volunteered to help organize it.

“I just don’t understand why they can’t get it right,” Jerry laments to anyone within earshot. “If I were in charge, we’d know the true meaning of Christmas.”

When asked about his lack of involvement, Jerry typically offers a cryptic response, “I’m just here to keep them on their toes. If they ever want my help, they know where to find me.”


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