Guy Who Never Goes to Church Turns Up To Business Meeting

“Support the BarelyAdventist team by joining our Patreon community or leaving a PayPal tip - it means the world to us.”

Some guy who has never actually been seen at church suddenly turned up at business meeting this afternoon with a burning desire to assert his authority over the most critical aspects of ministry at Breath of Life SDA.

The guy who nobody could quite put a name to confidently chimed in on multiple line items in the church budget as well as the direction of the youth ministry.

“It’s like witnessing an anti-miracle,” Pastor Johnson quipped, “a guy who’s never even said ‘Amen’ during a sermon is suddenly telling us how to run our church.”

As the new guy debated even the most straightforward agenda items ad nauseum, the patience of the group ran thin.

Pastor Johnson finally got the guy to stop talking when he directly asked him to put his rhetorical gifts to work as an early service greeter next Sabbath.

The invitation worked wonders and the meeting monopolizer suddenly remembered another gathering he needed to save.


You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.


(Visited 289 times, 1 visits today)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *