Desperate Adventist Prays For Deliverance From All-Night Prayer Meeting

“Support the BarelyAdventist team by joining our Patreon community or leaving a PayPal tip - it means the world to us.”

HARD LUCK, Mich. — Half-asleep, Joe Cansadisimo is sending up a desperate prayer for deliverance as his local congregation’s prayer meeting continues to hold strong at 11:34 PM. 

T’he all-night prayer meeting has so far been a long, cruel affair, cheerily suggested last Sabbath by a retired prayer warrior who doesn’t have to clock in to work at 8:30 AM tomorrow morning. 

The main reason for the prayer meeting is to ask for “unmistakable clarity” on the color of the new church carpet and, for the last several hours, members have been sneaking in their favoured colors into their prayers, asking that the rest of the congregation be ‘brought to see the light.”

Face-down in his pew, Cansadisimo begs for liberation from the bonds of his captivity even if all it translates to is a 45-minute power nap in his car before the saints discover he is missing.



You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.


(Visited 315 times, 1 visits today)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *