WATFORD, England – A frenzy of activity crashed the servers of the British Union Conference today as tickets for the Single Adventist Women’s Ministries retreat went on sale.
The theme for the event is “Fishing For Men” and despite the technical glitch, tickets sold out before noon.
“The appalling lack of eligible men available at your local Adventist church is absolutely crazy-making,” said retreat coordinator, Pesca Dora. “Single Adventist women are sick of waiting around for an eligible bachelor to appear at church. They are attending this event to better their odds of dating success.”
Dora said those who attend the retreat will be taught how to sweep large numbers of quality single Adventist men into a romance net from which they can pick the best ones for trial vespers dates.