GC Delegates to Vote on Whether Adventist Haystacks Should Feature Fritos or Doritos

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ST. LOUIS, Mo.— General Conference Session delegates are gearing up to vote on an issue that threatens to divide the denomination: the chips used in haystacks.

Delegates are choosing between Fritos and Doritos and debate on the choice has been fierce.

“A decision of this magnitude will forever alter the course of Adventist eating,” said Adventist culinary commentator, Lynn Kette, “Whatever the delegates decide, they’re going to have people giving them the side-eye at potlucks for years to come.”

Kette predicts that delegates will vote for Fritos over Doritos “simply because that’s the only morally correct decision to make.”