
The Unity Oversight Committee was informed by quantitative and qualitative data gathered from exhaustive veggie lasagna tasting sessions with church leaders worldwide as well as dialogues over full-blown Mega Potlucks with the thirteen world divisions, General Conference Leadership Council, and GC institutions. Comments from Executive Committee members during previous Annual Council lunch breaks were also considered.
The Office of Archives, Statistics, and Research was tasked with developing a lasagna tasting menu and administering a survey of all union and division presidents worldwide. All those surveyed submitted a response, even though in some cases they chose not to answer all questions as eating certain lasagna samples constituted a violation of their personal conscience. The results of the survey were published in a previous article, and showed that a majority of the world Church’s union presidents favored some kind of process for dealing with non-compliance in matters as important and stressful as proper lasagna prep.
Following standard process and protocol, the document voted today by GC ADCOM will also be discussed by the General Conference and Division Officers Committee. It will then be sent to the GC Executive Committee at its Annual Council this October for consideration before lasagna is served at this year’s Battle Creek-based meetings.
Read the original ANN script on which the satire above was based.
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It aint gonna work in my church. Why? Most of the memeb s are from the Inter American Division. Make the lasagna out of rice & beans and you gots a winner. AS for me, I sticking’ to my Little Debbies lasagna.
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