Prodigal Son’s Brother Suddenly Vegan For Return Feast

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Misplaced fervor.
ANCIENT JUDEA — A catering crisis blew up minutes after the prodigal son returned to his father.

Although most of the household and its well-compensated staff were delighted at the announcement that the father had ordered fattened calf to celebrate his son’s return, one member of the family dropped a culinary announcement that wet blanketed the festivities immediately.

“I’m vegan,” announced the rule-abiding older brother, adding that unless someone could rustle up some premium Worthington products pronto, he’d be a no-show at the feast.

As no ABC stores were open, the household caterers were unable to meet the son’s demands.

The rest of the partiers breathed a sigh of relief as the older brother turned in early for the night. No amount of reasoning about inheritance values could shake the pouty, newly-minted vegan of his mood or his unbending misinterpretation of NEWSTART principles.


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