Smoke Signals To Announce Selection Of Newbold’s Next Principal

Berkshire, England — Every member of the Newbold College Board of Governors and Trans-European Division executive team crammed into a modestly-sized Salisbury Hall office this morning.

The committee vowed not to leave the building until they had reached a consensus on who the new principal of Newbold would be.

The decision makers were not allowed to bring in phones or any other technology. Their only communication with the outside world will take place through hourly smoke signals – black smoke indicating no decision yet and white smoke announcing a successful selection. 

Entering the building, optimists in the group told confused students the decision would be made by lunchtime. The rest of the committee walked in with grim expressions, carrying sleeping bags.

Little is known about the short list of candidates being considered, other than the fact that a number of individuals have requested their names be removed from the list due to British weather.


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