Trump Considering Presidential Pardon For Carob Chip Cookie Creator


WASHINGTON, D.C. —- President Donald Trump is considering issuing a highly controversial pardon for Degu Tant, the infamous creator of the carob chip cookie.

Tant was locked up decades ago for crushing the the spirit of dessert eaters across America with his awful invention.

Legal experts have weighed in on the potential pardon, unanimously condemning it as irresponsible.

“Tant cast a culinary shadow on America with his terrible creation,” said Mel Lisimo, president for the Society of Vegans With Taste. “Letting him go free at this point would guarantee more carob “treats” polluting the shelves of our supermarkets and putting our taste buds to sleep.”

President Trump said he would announce his decision on the pardon “in a few days or however long it takes for this terrible taste to leave my mouth.”

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2 Comments

  1. Richard Mills

    Bah Humbug!!! to all carob tasting stuff. It’s like eating chalk. YUK-YUK! Gimme the real chocolate anytime. M&M’s Hershey’s, Ghiradelli’s, MARS candy, York peppermints, Russell Stover, Lady Godiva, but NO CAROB!!

  2. Richard Mills

    Before Trump leaves office, he needs to pardon-Roma Cola, Nuteena, Balono, Wham, Weeta/Bix, Soy Bacon, Soy Chocolate, Prosage and some other names I cannot recall at this moment. K-laof can stay. Same for the cottage cheese loaf.

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