Wilson Bans Adventists From Using Hoverboards, Says They Facilitate Levitation

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SILVER SPRING, Md. — General Conference President Ted Wilson has a launched a full scale attack on the international hoverboard craze.

After colliding with a caffeinated North American Division employee zipping through the General Conference lobby on a hoverboard, Wilson dedicated himself to banning Adventist use of the transportation gadgets as well as to tightening security protocol regarding NAD personnel on GC premises.

Wilson explained that — especially as thousands of Adventists had received hoverboard for Christmas — he “could not help but speak out.”

Detailing his reasoning for the ban, Wilson said that quite apart from injury potential, “hoverboards facilitate levitation, a shadowy occult practice.”

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