You Know You’re Adventist When…

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You wonder what kind of gelatin is in that gummy worm.

You question if an activity is “Sabbathy” enough to do after church.

Potlucks are basically a competitive sport.

And you get really excited about haystacks.

You say the words “Thanks, Ted” when something goes wrong.

You mom stressed the importance of ironing all your Sabbath clothes before Friday sunset.

Anything in the news that hints of Sunday Law spikes your blood pressure.

You can quote Ellen G. White but struggle to remember your own address.

You know more about the apocalypse than your average survivalist.

You can’t decide what’s worse: lukewarm Roma or the (at best) lukewarm Adventist dating options near you.

You celebrate both Friday AND Saturday sunset – for VERY different reasons.

You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

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