Harold Pendergast III, a prominent Los Angeles-based oral surgeon has announced to his local Adventist congregation that he isn’t just waiting around for the Time of Trouble: he is finalizing his escape to the hills: the Hollywood Hills.
Pendergast has purchased a secluded Hollywood Hills mansion as his hideout. He’s also diligently excavating a subterranean shelter within the very hillside his luxurious estate rests upon.
“Look,” Pendergast shared with a local members, “during the Time of Trouble, it’s crucial to run for the hills but wouldn’t it be great if your escape plan came with top notch amenities and a personal, well-ventilated cave?
When asked whether the mere fact that his luxury hideout was located in hills was sufficient to keep the bag guys from catching him, Pendergast revealed he was also banking on LA traffic slowing down anyone coming for him.
“Sure, the hills might not be impenetrable,” he said, “but with the added advantage of LA traffic, anyone attempting to pursue me will face significant obstacles. Have you tried navigating the 405 during rush hour? It’s practically a fortress in itself. And don’t even get me started on Sunset.”
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