WEST FRANKFORT, IL – Local Adventist father, Bob Wellman, has declared that this year’s family vacation to the 3ABN studios will be “just as fun, if not more so” than a trip to Disney World, much to the chagrin of his wife and three children.
“Who needs overpriced mouse ears when you can have a behind-the-scenes tour of where ‘Tiny Tots for Jesus’ is filmed?” Wellman enthused, brandishing a homemade itinerary. “And forget about those silly roller coasters. The real thrill is watching live tapings of ‘Amazing Facts’!”
His children, aged 8, 12, and 15, seemed less than thrilled. “Dad promised we’d see characters in costume,” sighed 12-year-old Timmy. “I’m pretty sure he just meant Pastor Doug Batchelor in a suit.”
Mrs. Wellman attempted to put a positive spin on the situation. “At least there won’t be any lines,” she offered weakly, while discretely searching for nearby vegetarian restaurants on her phone.
The vacation plans also include a special treat – a day trip to the nearby Tater Tot factory. “It’s educational AND delicious,” Bob insisted. “Take that, Epcot!”
As the family reluctantly packed their bags, 15-year-old Sarah was heard muttering, “I bet even Ellen White would’ve preferred Disney.”
Despite his family’s lack of enthusiasm, Bob remained undeterred. “Just wait until they see the gift shop,” he grinned. “Who wouldn’t want a life-size cardboard cutout of Walter Veith?”
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