All wise Adventists are invited to stock up on items from the seasonal product line while supplies last. The products are aimed specifically at wealthy Adventists that wear Rolex watches to church and wouldn’t mind smelling like frankincense.
“None of the products in our Wise Men line are jewelry,” reads ABC advertising copy. “But nothing says you have arrived more than brandishing a gold-plated Bible protector as you step into Sabbath School.”
ABC stores will feature the items right next to a selection of live camels that will be on display in store parking lots. Customers are advised to find street parking from now until Christmas.