Heaven Confirms Christmas Was Awful This Year
HEAVEN – A statement released this morning from Heaven’s media relations office confirmed what many have suspected the last few days: this was an awful Christmas. “The world was ravaged by Read more […]
Tag: Christmas
ABC Stores Announce Sale On Gold, Frankincense And Myrrh
ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventist Book Centers everywhere are featuring a Christmas sale of gold, frankincense and myrrh products. All wise Adventists are invited to stock up on items from the Read more […]
Share this:
Doug Batchelor launches “Santa isn’t real” tour of Adventist kindergartens
Adventist kindergarteners around the country have never been more enraged. The source of their anger appears to be famed Adventist evangelist Doug Batchelor who has launched a whirlwind Santa Read more […]
Share this:
Malfunction on ADRA’s Useful Christmas Gift catalog results in massive goat delivery to Paradise Adventist Church
PARADISE, Calif. — A makeshift petting zoo has been opened in the parking lot of Paradise Adventist Church after an unexpected Christmas Eve delivery of approximately 300 goats. The surprise Read more […]
Share this:
Pagan symbol witch-hunt leads to disassembling of church nativity scene
Red Bluff, Calif. — A wave of confusion and finger-pointing has hit the congregation of Central Adventist Church. Members in the know say it all started when traveling evangelist Fred Durbar Read more […]
