Doug Batchelor launches “Santa isn’t real” tour of Adventist kindergartens

Adventist kindergarteners around the country have never been more enraged. The source of their anger appears to be famed Adventist evangelist Doug Batchelor who has launched a whirlwind Santa Read more […]

Heaven Confirms Christmas Was Awful This Year

HEAVEN – A statement released this morning from Heaven’s media relations office confirmed what many have suspected the last few days: this was an awful Christmas. “The world was ravaged by Read more […]

ABC Stores Announce Sale On Gold, Frankincense And Myrrh

ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventist Book Centers everywhere are featuring a Christmas sale of gold, frankincense and myrrh products. All wise Adventists are invited to stock up on items from the Read more […]

Malfunction on ADRA’s Useful Christmas Gift catalog results in massive goat delivery to Paradise Adventist Church

PARADISE, Calif. — A makeshift petting zoo has been opened in the parking lot of Paradise Adventist Church after an unexpected Christmas Eve delivery of approximately 300 goats. The surprise Read more […]

Pagan symbol witch-hunt leads to disassembling of church nativity scene

Red Bluff, Calif. — A wave of confusion and finger-pointing has hit the congregation of Central Adventist Church. Members in the know say it all started when traveling evangelist Fred Durbar Read more […]