Heaven Confirms Christmas Was Awful This Year


HEAVEN – A statement released this morning from Heaven’s media relations office confirmed what many have suspected the last few days: this was an awful Christmas.

“The world was ravaged by war, inequality soared, the naked remained unclothed, the hungry continued to starve and despite reminders from pulpits everywhere, hardly anyone spent much time thinking about the Messiah,” said the statement.

“Although the date Jesus’s birth is celebrated is clearly wrong, we always hope the season will be meaningful and not just feature manic gift-giving one-upmanship for the haves and misery for the havenots,” continued the statement.

“Sadly our hopes were dashed upon the rocks of stone cold reality.”

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