GC Transformed Into Nursing Home As Average Employee Age Surpasses 75

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SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference building is undergoing major refurbishment after HR finally stated the obvious: employees are so old the place should just be a nursing home.

As part of the re-imaging of the headquarters building,  courtesy walkers have been stationed at every entrance and elevator, and the GC is updating its “I Will Go” slogan to “I Will Roll.”

The video announcement of the updated slogan features animated seniors whizzing down the GC floors in brightly-colored mobility scooters.

Senior leadership has announced a list of suitable nursing home recreational activities featuring Biblelopoly and nature scene puzzles. Three rebels have already been wheeled out of the building for suggesting a daily bingo game in the auditorium.


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