Introvert Escapes Through Church Fire Exit to Avoid Chatty Deacon

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It was another scorching Sabbath morning at Tumbleweed Seventh-day Adventist Church and the air conditioning wasn’t cooperating. Jared, the quintessential introvert, was already perspiring through his shirt by the time the benediction mercifully concluded the service.

As the congregation began filing out, Jared’s eyes darted around nervously. He knew that long-winded Deacon Delbert would soon spot him and engage him in an excruciatingly long-winded conversation.

Sure enough, Delbert zeroed in on Jared, and the talkative deacon started making his way through the crowd. Jared’s heart raced as he scanned for an exit strategy.

That’s when salvation appeared – the fire exit door. Without hesitation, Jared made a beeline for it, dodging elderly ladies and leaping over pews with surprising agility.

Just as Delbert opened his mouth, Jared burst through the fire exit with impressive force. The deafening alarm rang out as Jared hurried across the parking lot.

As he peeled away in his Camry, dust billowing behind him, Jared grinned victoriously. He’d managed to flee Delbert’s rambling clutches without being roped into another marathon sermon disguised as a conversation. The fire marshal may have frowned upon his tactics, but insatiable conversationalists were a spiritual battle Jared wasn’t prepared to wage today.


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