LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Fast on her way to billionairedom, reality star entrepreneur Kylie Jenner has opened yet another line in her cosmetics empire: Adventist-approved SabbathLipstick.
According to Kylie Cosmetics, SabbathLipstick has already undergone rigorous testing in “real Adventist church lobbies on randomly-picked Sabbath mornings” and has “successfully made test subjects look amazing without attracting adornment lectures from grumpy church lurkers with nothing better to do.”
SabbathLipstick is described as “natural-looking but not plain” and is “guaranteed to make this Sabbath the ‘happiest of Sabbaths.'”
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Is this lipstick another one of those tofu products? Or maybe a soy textured protein extruded by some co-packer in a third world country? Will the lipstick stay on the lips after consuming a healthy meal of haystacks? Will she use a flavor commonly used by Little Debbies? I like that flavor best!!
Gimme a kiss, baby!!