Kylie Jenner releases line of Adventist-approved “SabbathLipstick”

“Support the BarelyAdventist team by joining our Patreon community or leaving a PayPal tip - it means the world to us.”

images (1)

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Fast on her way to billionairedom, reality star  entrepreneur Kylie Jenner has opened yet another line in her cosmetics empire: Adventist-approved SabbathLipstick.

According to Kylie Cosmetics, SabbathLipstick has already undergone rigorous testing in “real Adventist church lobbies on randomly-picked Sabbath mornings” and has “successfully made test subjects look amazing without attracting adornment lectures from grumpy church lurkers with nothing better to do.”

SabbathLipstick is described as “natural-looking but not plain” and is “guaranteed to make this Sabbath the ‘happiest of Sabbaths.'”

Advertise on BarelyAdventist


You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

Check out the Sonscreen Film Festival!

Share your Adventist faith & lifestyle through cool awesome t-shirts |


(Visited 874 times, 1 visits today)

One comment

  1. richeerich

    Is this lipstick another one of those tofu products? Or maybe a soy textured protein extruded by some co-packer in a third world country? Will the lipstick stay on the lips after consuming a healthy meal of haystacks? Will she use a flavor commonly used by Little Debbies? I like that flavor best!!
    Gimme a kiss, baby!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *