ST. LOUIS, Mo. — For the first time in history, a female has been elected president of the General Conference.
Little Debbie won the position by a landslide vote of nominating committee members who agreed Little Debbie’s appeal to sugar addicts across traditional generational and cultural divides, meant that she was the right person for the job.
Little Debbie accepted her new position, promising the modest crowd assembled in St. Louis that she would endeavor “to show the sweeter side of Adventism at every potluck” she attends.
Eyewitness reports from the nominating committee conference room say Little Debbie’s majority vote tally over other candidates had grown with every hour committee members were held in the room without a break for lunch.
“All people had to eat was Nutty Bars so by about 3:15 pm, Little Debbie was the runaway favorite and nobody cared whether she was ordained,” said a committee member who wished to remain anonymous.