Loma Linda Blue Zoner Busted Eating Cheeseburger

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Loma Linda, Calif. — Bill Worthington, one of the faces of the Loma Linda Blue Zone, was busted by veggie cops yesterday as he was devouring a cheeseburger for the very first time. Local dietary enforcement responded in under seven minutes to a panicked 911 call from Bill’s wife, Gertrude, who had overheard Bill promise a great-great-grandchild that he would “not let another day pass before sampling what this In-N-Out establishment close to my house has to offer.” Unlike the teenager, who was reportedly delighted and offered to deliver the burger herself, Gertrude attempted a citizen’s arrest of her own husband as he reached for the hand-delivered burger. Gertrude almost succeeded in stopping her husband but melted at the sight of a Neapolitan shake that her descendant brought her.


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    What’s Next for Adventist Foodies?

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    Southern Californian strawberry farmer Haya Costa said recently it was time to take the next step in preparation for translation: “We have sacrificed almost everything over the decades. So we thank God for GMO’s, which we now avoid. It’s like God gave them to the food industry so we could give them up, too. ”

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