Mandatory: Cooking Lessons For Underperforming Potluck Contributors

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ADVENTIST WORLD – As of this coming Sunday morning, every Adventist member that consistently turns up to potluck with dishes deemed “underperforming” by 50% or more of their church board, will have to take cooking lessons.

“The lessons will be offered free of charge as long as members can demonstrate substantial improvements to the flavor and appearance of their dishes within a month,” explained a memo from the Potluck Monitoring Taskforce of the General Conference Executive Committee.

“Members that do not attend cooking classes and continue to attend potluck with subpar veggie lasagna and other offending dishes will face a series of penalties including unpaid children’s Sabbath School teaching duties, impromptu song service coordination or flower arrangement – basically everything we expect of pastors’ wives,” said the memo. 


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