Signs You Are an Adventist Missionary Kid

“Support the BarelyAdventist team by joining our Patreon community or leaving a PayPal tip - it means the world to us.”

Adventist missionary kids are a breed of their own. They can be confusing to their friends that didn’t grow up the same way. Here are some of the signs you grew up as an MK:

1. Rootless Wanderer: You don’t hail from a single patch of soil. Your childhood was a whirlwind of boarding schools in the Philippines, mission trips to Peru, and summers back in Grandma’s house in Iowa. Home is a constellation of memories, accents, and spicy adventures.

2. Chameleon Chic: From Birkenstocks at church to Doc Martens at a punk show, your wardrobe screams, “I can eat fried crickets in Thailand and quote Nietzsche before brunch.” Unconventional is your middle name, and your style reflects the kaleidoscope of cultures you’ve navigated.

3. Linguistic Acrobatics: You speak “Missionary Kid Esperanto,” a mishmash of languages that would make Rosetta Stone blush. You can order vegetarian curry in Portuguese, bargain for souvenirs in Swahili, and argue theology in broken Korean, all while sporting a distinctly American slang.

4. Potluck Pilgrimage: Forget Michelin-starred restaurants, your heart belongs to the international smorgasbord that is the Adventist potluck. You can identify a vegan lasagna from Papua New Guinea from a mile away, and your spice tolerance is legendary.

5. Wanderlust in Your DNA: Restless souls, unite! You’ve got the travel bug in your bloodstream. New cultures call your name, airports whisper promises of adventure, and your feet itch for the next exotic destination.

6. National Identity? What’s That?: Patriotism feels like a foreign language, holidays a confusing mix of traditions.You’re a citizen of the world, belonging to every and no land at once. Your passport is your birthright, and your heart beats to the rhythm of distant drums.

7. Dating Across Time Zones: Your love life is a globe-trotting adventure. You’ve fallen for the son of a missionary in Argentina, the daughter of a pastor in the Philippines. Your love story could be written in National Geographic, with a soundtrack of exotic languages and shared stories from the far corners of the earth.

8. Adventist-ish Identity: The church raised you, but somewhere along the way, you started asking questions. Vegetarianism was highly encouraged in some countries you lived in and completely ignored by even the most devout Adventists in others. Sabbath keeping was similarly regional – some places kept you busy from dawn till dusk with church activities and other places had you out by noon. NOBODY agreed on how to read or apply Ellen White. You’ve learned to pick and choose, to create your own unique blend of Adventist-ish-ness.


You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.


(Visited 329 times, 1 visits today)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *