Things That Make Adventists Jealous

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Ah, jealousy. It’s an ugly emotion, but we all experience it from time to time. And Adventists are no exception. In fact, there are some things that can make an Adventist so jealous they’ll block your name in nominating committee. Here are some of the top things that make Adventists green with envy:

  1. Non-Adventists who get to sleep in on Saturdays: While Adventists are busy rushing to church on Saturday mornings, non-Adventists are lounging in bed, sipping coffee, and reading the newspaper. It’s enough to make an Adventist want to skip church and join the heathens from time to time.
  2. People who can dance. No explanation needed.
  3. Non-Adventists who don’t have to explain what Adventists are: It’s a common question for Adventists: “What’s an Adventist?” And sometimes, explaining it over and over again can get tiring. So when a non-Adventist doesn’t have to explain their religion to anyone, Adventists can’t help but feel a little jealous.
  4. Better testimonies. The guy before you during testimony time got snatched from the jaws of an angry momma bear by an angel. Suddenly you are feeling less enthused about telling everyone God helped you sweet talk the traffic cop into waiving your ticket.
  5. People who can drink coffee without feeling guilty: Adventists are known for their aversion to caffeine, but sometimes they just can’t resist the allure of a warm, creamy latte. However, the guilt they feel afterwards can ruin the entire experience. So when they see someone sipping on a cup of coffee without a care in the world, it’s enough to make them want to trade in their herbal tea for a double shot espresso.
  6. Better musicians. That person who routines outdoes your special music performances can really get to you after a while.
  7. People who can wear jewelry without feeling like they’re sinning: Adventists are known for their plain and simple dress, which means no jewelry. Not even a simple pair of earrings. So when they see someone wearing a stunning necklace or a sparkling bracelet, it’s enough to make them want to break out the family heirlooms and wear them proudly – that or bust out a Rolex.
  8. Non-Adventists don’t have to worry about getting kicked out of church for asking too many questions or having doubts. Deep down thoughtful Adventists wishes that were true at their local church. 
 

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