French Adventists boast “Total Member Involvement” in watching World Cup Final

FRANCE — Leaders of the Adventist Church in France have confirmed that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, there was total member involvement among Adventists in the country watching the World Cup Read more […]

English Adventists wear sackloth and ashes after World Cup ouster

ENGLAND — Adventists across England have donned sackcloth and ashes after a devastating World Cup defeat by Croatia. Church members that had secretly been praying that England would feature Read more […]

Gordon Ramsay signs up for “Heaven’s Kitchen” Adventist potluck series

CULVER CITY, Calif. — Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has decided to add a new show to his current filming schedule. The new series will be called Heaven’s Kitchen and will attempt to single out Read more […]

Bird trumps Magic’s $550K Oakwood donation with $650K for Indiana Academy

WEST BADEN SPRINGS, Ind. — In a sign that the decades-long rivalry between two basketball greats is far from over, former Celtics star Larry Bird has bested a donation that Earvin “Magic” Read more […]

Tom Brady to spend Deflategate suspension coaching La Sierra flag football

RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Bad news for New England Patriots fans may just have turned into the best news La Sierra University has received in years. As news broke that Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady Read more […]