Trump bans distribution of ‘The Great Controversy’ books

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Adventist Church has been forced to halt one of its favorite witnessing activities after President Donald Trump banned distribution of copies of Ellen White’s The Great Controversy.

Trump accused the book of “exposing way too many really fantastic secrets that our team has been working so hard on.”

He claimed that the steady erosion of religious liberties and his attempts to bully and silence media outlets and voices of opposition were “way more fun” if they came as a complete surprise instead of prophecy come true.

“How exactly are we going to establish a new world order if we have a bunch of vegetarians running around with a book that spells out our entire game plan?” Trump asked a newsroom sparsely populated with news outlets he had not yet banned from White House briefings.

He added that The Great Controversy had to be banned because the book was as bad as a TV-spoiler that could tell you in advance who would get fired from Celebrity Apprentice.


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    1. Ellen G. Why?

      If a man does not hold a door for a woman, he is accused of being rude and ungentlemanly.

      But if a man does hold a door for a women, he is accused of being paternalistic, patronizing, and demeaning.

      Solution: make separate doors for men and women.

  1. Maybe we all should read the last few chapters of GC. This report is more true than you think. Looks like the time of the end is here and we are not ready. We have met the enemy and it could be us!! Wake up all you Laodiceans. The Bridegroom cometh and ye knoweth it not.

  2. Melba

    Barely Adventist is right. Why do you spend your time writing fake stuff. It’s called lying and it is a sin. Share the truth. That’s what you’re called to do in the Bible by God himself. Maybe if you would actually read the great controversy you’d have a clue on what was going on in this world.

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