Adventist Rides Headfirst To Avoid Backsliding

SPLISHY, Ga. – Ever the conscientious church member, local Adventist Kanon Kula returned to his newly-reopened water park determined to have nothing but righteous fun. Despite clearly posted Read more […]

Theologian Spotted On Slippery Slope

Telluride, Colo. — Alarm bells rang all over Adventist academia this morning as a prominent denominational theologian was spotted flying down a slippery slope in Telluride. A flock of commentators Read more […]

Trump bans distribution of ‘The Great Controversy’ books

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Adventist Church has been forced to halt one of its favorite witnessing activities after President Donald Trump banned distribution of copies of Ellen White’s The Great Read more […]