Here’s a checklist of things to do to prepare for Sabbath:
- Start by turning off all your electronic devices, because you don’t want to be tempted to play Candy Crush during church.
- Get out your fancy Sabbath clothes, and make sure to brush off the mothballs before putting them on.
- Make a list of all the sins you committed during the week so you can confess them during Sabbath school. Bonus points if you make them sound extra dramatic.
- Clean your house until it’s so spotless that even the angels would be impressed. Don’t forget to dust behind the couch, because you never know who might be hiding back there.
- Stock up on vegetarian food, because nothing says “Sabbath” like a plate of steaming hot lentil soup.
- Practice singing the hymns, but make sure to keep your volume low so your neighbors don’t think you’re auditioning for American Idol.
- Get out your Bible and highlight all the important passages, so you can impress your fellow churchgoers with your knowledge of Scripture.
- Take a moment to reflect on the week that’s passed, and then quickly forget about it so you can fully enjoy the Sabbath.
- Put on your happy face, because it’s time to spend the day with your church family. Don’t worry if you’re not feeling particularly joyful – fake it till you make it!
- Finally, make sure to get a good night’s sleep on Friday so you can be fully rested for all the Sabbath activities. But don’t oversleep, because you don’t want to miss the potluck!