Adventist crime hotline established to report Sabbath breakers

 

Easy as 1844
Easy as 1844.
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Seventh-day Adventist Church has established a robustly-staffed hotline to which members can report each other of suspected Sabbath violations.

Members are encouraged to simply dial the number 1844, state the nature of the infraction, the name of the erring Adventist and their home church.

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General Conference Director of Sabbath Enforcement Rod Handhed told reporters that photographic evidence is encouraged whenever available to substantiate claims.

“If you see your head deacon pulling into an Olive Garden parking lot after church, don’t just dial it in,” advised Handhed. “Get a picture of his license plate and, if you can, one of him walking through the front door.”

Handhed stressed that the more compelling the evidence, the better the case.

“In the Olive Garden scenario, a picture of your deacon paying the bill is jackpot,” said Handhed, advising Adventist Sabbath crime busters to establish their own innocence in any evidence submitted.

“Try to take your picture through windows so the picture not only captures the crime but also a reflection of you standing outside, blameless,” said Handhed.

“You don’t want to give people reason to think you were a few tables over, chowing down on breadsticks.”


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5 Comments

  1. JOE SDA

    I WANT TO SELF REPORT.
    I’M PRETTY SURE I HAVE BROKEN THE SABBATH OFTEN IN PHYSICAL AND COGNITIVE ACTIONS AND THEN THERE IS THE EVERY OTHER WEEKEND WHEN I MUST WORK, IS GOD STILL DEMANDING THE SABBATH KEEPING AS HE DID OF THE JEWS IN THE OLD TESTAMENT?
    I’M SURE GLAD THAT WHEN THE PHARISEES TRIED TO TRAP JESUS INTO ADMITTING THAT THE SABBATH WAS THE GREATEST COMMANDMENT, HE INSTEAD HIT THEM ON LOVE AND COMPASSION. SO, THERE IS A RANKING OF SORTS AS FAR AS COMMANDMENTS GOES, PLUS REMEMBER THAT WHEN HE WAS BEING HASSLED BY THE FANATICAL CHURCH LEADERS, HE HAD NOT DIED YET AND STARTED THE NEW COVENANT.

    I’M HAPPY NONE OF YOU ALL WILL BE THE JUDGE OF MY HEART.

    KING DAVID WAS “A MAN AFTER GOD’S OWN HEART” AND THIS SHOULD BE OUR GOAL IN LIFE. WE WILL NEVER BECOME EQUALS WITH GOD OR JESUS BUT, STAYING IN THE RACE IS WHAT MATTERS AS PAUL REFLECTED ABOUT HIS LIFE.
    VERY FEW CAN BECOME PERFECT OR EVEN NEAR PERFECT AND THOSE WHO DO, ARE TAKEN AWAY IN A CLOUD OF FIRE, (NICE RIDE I’LL BET).

  2. richard mills

    The guy going into the Olive Garden is getting food for some sick SDA church members who are unable to cook for themselves. The Deacon in question doesn’t know how to cook or prepare food. Usually, he stays around for the pot luck stuff. The sick members probably got sick & tired of the pot luck food. Hey, Deacon, stop by the 7-Eleven and get a supply of Little Debbies. Don’t forget to pray over the food for best results. Maybe the GC guy can cruise around Takoma Park/Silver Spring area on any given Sabbath and take a few selfies. Woe izme!!

  3. Rona Thomas

    If it’s come to the place where Adventists have to force their members to keep the Sabbath, then they’ve totally lost the plot! Members should keep the Sabbath because they WANT to, and because they believe it’s the right thing to do. What on earth have things come to? It’s the wrong way to go!!!

  4. richard mills

    Hey-Rona-Don’t you know that it is these 21st century Pharisees at work? They want you to break the Sabbath no matter what!! Stay away from SDA communities. Dangerous ground. Live next door to non-SDA’s and they won’t know the difference. Works for me!! Woe iz me!!

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