Seventh-day Adventist relieved he doesn’t need to be Adventist any other day

Phew
Phew
GLENDORA, Calif. — Leo Dacia, a self-professed content and highly vegetarian Seventh-day Adventist, expressed profound relief today that his faith was neatly confined to Saturdays, leaving him ample flexibility on other days of the week.

“Being a Seventh-day Adventist allows me to get my Sabbath on for 24 hours without the burden of being tied down the rest of the week,” said Dacia.”I could hardly imagine a better set-up.”

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Dacia says he never misses church on Sabbath morning. He takes special pride in his perfectly worn, leather Bible and Sabbath School lesson protector which he clutches to his chest every week as he walks purposefully into the church lobby.

He confided that after stocking up on Special K Loaf at potluck and taking a huge afternoon nap, he always feels refreshed enough to shrug off any religious obligations at sunset as he looks forward to an action-packed week of carefree carousing around town.

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8 Comments

  1. Fran Fry

    That nap thingy can be a lifesaver. I don’t see anywhere in the Bible that even suggests that one should come out of the other end of that day, tired; especially after that ‘hair-straight-back’ Friday.

  2. Eld. Fari Sea

    “He always feels refreshed enough to shrug off any religious obligations at sunset as he looks forward to an action-packed week of carefree carousing around town.”

    Ha ha. Sounds like a certain deacon I know — the one I keep running into in the bar. I swear I’m gonna report him to the church board.

  3. Will Tedson

    Adventist foods:
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Haystacks
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Special-K Loaf
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Little Debbie’s snack cakes
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍Postum
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍Carob
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍Fri-Chik / Veja-Links
    Eat them, and you will surely go to heaven!‍ ‍ (Hezekiah 3:16)

  4. richard mills

    Hey, Will T. Aren’t you a bit mixed up about eating all that stuff and still getting into Heaven?. I think it is the other way around!! I don’t eat any of that so called SDA food. I have my wife doctor it up so it is edible. Nobody can tell the difference. The best part about not being an SDA any day is that nobody is looking or really cares. Walking up the front steps, carrying your Bible case under your LEFT arm is what is important. You need the right hand for fellowship and for the potluck to follow. Happy Daze are here again!! Woe iz me!!

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