Saturday, May 17, 2025

Adventist Churches Install Cell Phone Signal Blockers

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ADVENTIST WORLD —  Adventist Churches the world over are installing cell signal blockers to combat chronic member distraction during services.

“I am sick of hearing members say that they are using their phones just to look up Bible texts,” said General Conference Director of Excuses, Mia Culpa. “From now on the only signal our members will be picking up is that Adventists don’t post to Instagram in church.”

The blockers will be turned on for most of Sabbath School and Divine Service on Sabbath mornings. One five-minute window will be allowed for members to use their phones for mobile giving during offering time.


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