LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Eight-year-old Timmy Holbrook is starting to ask some uncomfortable questions about his parents’ Sabbath afternoon habits, sources close to the family report.
The inquisitive second-grader has been overheard wondering aloud why his mom and dad insist on locking their bedroom door for their “special prayer time” every week after potluck.
“I don’t understand why they need privacy to talk to Jesus,” Timmy reportedly told his Sabbath School teacher last week. “And why does it always take exactly 22 minutes?”
Timmy’s parents, Mark and Sarah Holbrook, maintain that their alone time is a crucial part of their spiritual life. “We’re just following Ellen White’s counsel to make the Sabbath a delight,” Mark explained, adjusting his crooked tie. “It’s, uh, a very intense prayer session.”
Sarah added, “We’re simply setting a good example of prioritizing our relationship with the Lord. And each other. Mostly the Lord, though.”
When asked about the occasional thumping noises coming from the bedroom, the couple insisted it was just “enthusiastic kneeling.”
Timmy remains skeptical. “If it’s just praying, why do they always come out looking so sweaty and happy?” he asked. “And why does Dad always need a nap right after?”
The Holbrooks’ pastor, visibly uncomfortable, declined to comment on the situation, muttering something about “not his department” before quickly changing the subject to this week’s evangelistic series.
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