This week, over 200 National Guard troops took up positions across Berrien Springs, Michigan, their orders clear: bring an end to the region’s notorious cow tipping once and for all. The mission’s epicenter is Andrews University, where night patrols now monitor local pastures using infrared gear and strict perimeter checks.
Guard officials report the operation has proven “remarkably manageable” thanks to Andrews University closing its dairy farm—a shift that’s left far fewer cows for would-be tipsters to target. “This job would have been WAY harder a few years back,” said the mission commander. “Enforcement is a breeze when you can count the cows at a glance.”
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While local herds remain, students and residents have been cautioned that even “thinking about tipping” is grounds for a visit from a very bored Guardsman. For now, the region remains firmly upright—both cattle and reputation intact.
