No one talks about it, but every Adventist knows: there’s a secret leaderboard somewhere in heaven (or maybe Silver Spring). And we’re all on it.
Here’s how we quietly measure our spiritual (and social) worth:
1. Who knows who at the General Conference — and can drop their first name mid-story like, “Ted said the same thing to me in 2015.”
2. Who’s on the church board — bonus points for chairing at least three subcommittees.
3. Whose kid graduated summa cum laude from Andrews (or Loma Linda if you’re really elite).
4. Who’s fifth-generation Adventist — the rest of us are just “recent converts” from the 1950s.
5. Who sat on the committee that came up with the 28 Fundamentals (and still brings it up during Sabbath School).
6. Who was the first to burn a George Knight book (or buy the whole set, depending on your brand of orthodoxy).
7. Who’s most senior in the medical profession (“I’m an Adventist neurosurgeon, but mostly for the mission field”).
8. Who’s going on the cooler mission trip — the Himalayas beat Honduras every time.
9. If you work for the church: how much of the year you’re “traveling internationally for ministry.”
10. Who sits on the platform during the divine service — and who gets introduced as “a good friend of the conference president.”
11. Who can quote Ellen White most fluently and in context.
12. Who’s the keynote at the next ASI or GYC.
13. How many Adventist institutions your family name appears on.
14. How long you’ve been “in the work.” (Over 40 years? That’s basically sainthood.)
15. Whose devotional thoughts get re-shared in WhatsApp groups across three unions.
16. Who gets invited to pray at camp meeting (especially the evening session).
17. Who tithed faithfully through university and can prove it with receipts.
18. Who’s fluent in both Adventist theology and Adventist politics (they’re different degrees).
Because deep down, every Adventist secretly wants to hear at the pearly gates:
“Well done, thou good and faithful networker.”
What other ways do you think Adventists keep score? Be honest — you know the system’s real.
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