Fritos pays tithe to Seventh-day Adventist Church as thanks for haystacks business

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It’s hard to get more Adventist than this…
PLANO, Tex. — Frito-Lay announced this morning that it had commenced paying a ten percent tithe to the Seventh-day Adventist Church on net revenue from sales of its popular Fritos corn chips.

The decision came in what Frito-Lay spokesperson Ventist Stahpl described as “a long-overdue vote of thanks recognizing a religiously faithful customer base that has stocked its fellowship halls and member pantries with our product for decades.”

The decision was welcomed by General Conference Treasury spokesperson Stew R. Ship at a morning press conference. A half-eaten Oatmeal Creme Pie by his side, Ship said that the Frito-Lay tithing decision was a “step in the right direction” while stressing that it would be years before Frito-Lay would wield the political influence Little Debbie enjoys at the General Conference.

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36 Comments

    1. LADY DI ETICIAN

      ACTUALLY, PLAIN FRITOS IS THE BEST CHIPS YOU CAN EAT. LOOK AT THE INGREDIENTS: CORN, SALT, CORN OIL. IF YOU GET THE LIGHTLY SALTED THEN YOUR REALLY AFTER THE SDA HEART.

        1. STU REDMAN

          1 BAG OF CHIPS CANCEROUS? NOT LIKELY. BUT IF IT WERE, HOW MANY BAG FULLS DO YOU NEED TO INGEST AND KEEP IN YOUR SYSTEM TO MAKE IT PRODUCE A CANCEROUS CELL? IF YOU INGEST 2000 MG OF TYLENOL AT ONE TIME, YOU HAVE OVER DOSED BECAUSE THE DOSE IS 650MG TO 1000 MG EVERY 4 HRS AS NEEDED, HOWEVER, YOU HAVE NOT TAKEN A TOXIC OR LETHAL DOSE. YOUR BODY WILL WORK TO METABOLIZE AND ELIMINATE. I WOULD VENTURE TO SAY OR WRITE AS IN THIS CASE, LIVING IS DANGEROUS TO OUR HEALTH.

  1. Cool name for the spokesperson, “Ventist Stahpl”! Yup, haystacks are certainly an “Adventist staple,” along with Little Debbies, Special-K loaf, Vega-Links, and Fri-Chik. And what a great name for a General Conference Treasury spokesperson, “Stew R. Ship.” He would be delighted if more of us exercised good stewardship. Do they also have a lady there named Aunt I. Jewel Ree?

  2. Mega Jar

    In additional news, Frito Lay has announced that it is planning to enter the African market for corn chips by establishing a distribution network in Zambia. When asked why they chose Zambia as their entry point for the African market, FritoLay spokesperson, Jan K. Machain, stated “with one million Adventists in Zambia, we believe we have a huge pent up demand for our chips that will only grow as Adventist baptisms increase.”

  3. Lisa

    I was born & raised Seventh Day Adventist & am proud to say that I still am. I grew up on Fritos corn chips and have always had back up bags in my pantry. My three children went all through SDA schools and had taco salad with Fritos every week as well. Thank you to the Fritos company for your support as well

  4. Richard Mills

    Frito-Lay is missing a great marketing strategy by not retailing their products in all our SDA institutions through vending machines, shelf space, cafeterias, employee lunchrooms, GC vendor space, seminars, corporate gifting, etc. To get the SDA distribution contract is the way to go. Count me in. My lawyers will contact you guys very soon. Woe is me!!

  5. David M

    At least the corn chips are more healthy than Little Debbie which is atrocious and never should be consumed. The denomination tolerates them for the money they get from them.

    Adventist have long since lost they health message and rarely take it seriously. I was a rep for LL foods years ago and it was then how I found out what real vegetarian eating was and how other laughed at us.

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