NASHVILLE, N. Car. — The owners of the Worthington / Loma Linda brand are set to test a pre-blessed version of the popular Big Franks veggie links. “Today’s Adventist consumers are so busy we thought it might help to ensure that our products are pre-blessed. That way diners don’t have to pray over them again before they eat,” said Sue Dempsey, spokesperson for Atlantic Natural Foods, the new owners of the Worthington brand.
To give more choice to consumers, Big Franks will come in three varieties: “Senior Pastor – Blessed”, “Head Elder – Blessed” and (for DIY enthusiasts) “YOU Pray”. Dempsey assures Big Franks fans that each and every can will be prayed over by pastors and elders that have already been hired and are receiving basic training on factory assembly lines.
If the pre-blessed links prove popular prayer practices will be rolled out to other Worthington products including FriChick, Choplets, Tender Bits and Super-Links. “We all know that not even the sky is the limit when it comes to prayer,” said Dempsey. “This innovation has the potential to revolutionize Adventist eating!”
(BarelyAdventist thanks Melodie Roschman for the story idea)
What!? No subcategory denoting gender of the pastor or elder giving the blessing? Might not be what someone thinks they’re paying for…
Can’t understand why anyone who cares about their nutritional health would dare eat this chemical and GMO cocktail of stuff made to look like a real meat hotdog in the first place.
Oh, please! Don’t mess with my Big Franks! We all LOVE them hot or cold.
Ha-Ha-I got you all beat!! I’ve been praying over, under, with around and about this stuff since I first had a taste of a NESPAK veggie hot dog many years ago. Good stuff-prayer or not. Why not pray for the consumers who try to cook this stuff!! Yummy, Yummy-not always good for your tummy. Gimme a Fuddrucker vegeburger anyday. Wholesome, No GMO or HMO. Deep fried in Caola oil. Woe is me!
I just pray they are in stock when I need more