
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — In what administrators admit constitutes an unpardonable sin for an Adventist institution, Southern Adventist University disclosed that bacon strips had been served to students instead of Stripples.
“The two food products look remarkably similar,” said Southern spokesperson Lechon Diba to a large gathering of reporters, adding that Southern’s theologians had immediately concluded that the bacon strips had posed as the culinary version of wolves in sheep’s clothing.
Diba said that Southern would close to “regroup and get creative about how to make our rules and regulations stricter so that something like this never happens again.”
She expressed her sincere regrets that the crisis of mistaken culinary identity had not befallen a more deserving Adventist school.
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