Doug Batchelor finds new Dead Sea scroll in cave

WEST BANK — Veteran Adventist evangelist Doug Batchelor has made history with the discovery of a new Dead Sea scroll manuscript of the scriptures.

The find happened during the annual caving retreat for Batchelor’s Amazing Facts media ministry.

The event, held in a cave on the northwestern shore of the Dead Sea this year, featured a series of guided cave walks, talks and vegetarian cooking classes.

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Batchelor reportedly found the scrolls while practicing an ambitious acrobatic sequence for a talent show scheduled for the final night of the retreat.

As he attempted a complicated cartwheel, Batchelor’s right hand touched a piece of parchment.

Curious as to what he had found, Batchelor dusted the parchment off and, seeing the ancient writing, quickly took the parchment to antiquities experts who confirmed that the scroll was a copy of ancient scripture.

Commenting on the find, Batchelor released a written statement to media representatives saying that the discovery “just goes to prove the ‘Amazing Fact’ that cave living is the key to all kinds of discovery.”


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13 Comments

  1. calle

    Well it appears that Dwight Nelson now believes that Allah is the only God. And that the Muslims are all true.
    Now the elect are falling apart.
    So so happy I am not a part of this minefield.

  2. Youse guys got it all mixed up. What Dougie really found was an old unpublished pamphlet by Ms. EGW. The contents are being scrutinized by the White Estate as I write this reply. Plagarism, etc. My sources are quite reliable. I will publish their findings later this week, no later than April 1, 2017. Could be sooner. The committee works night & day-24/7/365.

  3. Youse guys got it all mixed up. What Dougie really found was an old unpublished pamphlet by Ms. EGW. The contents are being scrutinized by the White Estate as I write this reply. Plagarism, etc. My sources are quite reliable. I will publish their findings later this week, no later than April 1, 2017. Could be sooner. The committee works night & day-24/7/365.

  4. Stacy Unicorn

    NEWS FLASH !! Gen. Michael Flynn resigned from his embattled position in the Trump Administration on Feb. 13, but he will not be without a job. The next minute, he received a call from the G.C. and accepted a position as the national security adviser (bodyguard) for President Ted Wilson. Not surprisingly, Ted promptly received a congratulatory phone call from Vladimir Pukin’ and his Russian envoy. Yeah!

  5. Yo, Stacy–Flynn would be a great choice for Pathfinder General and whip those little kiddies into shape at the next Camporee. Flynn would get rid of those so called drum corps. All Master Guides would have to go through boot camp in order to keep their MG status. You’ll see precision & execution-West Point style. I’m in with Flynn on this one!!

  6. Art Stinkletter

    BREAKING NEWS: This morning President Trump finally fired spokesman Sean Spicer after two embarrassing attacks by Melissa McCarthy on SNL. However, this was a moment of rejoicing for G.C. President Ted Wilson, who immediately called Spicer and offered him the position of G.C. Spokesman. “He is exactly what we need to put forth ‘alternative facts’ [lies] about ordination,” said Wilson. “Who else could be so skillful at explaining why we banned women’s ordination when the Bible says it’s okay?”

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