LOMA LINDA, Calif. --- Seventh-day Adventist dating site AdventistMatch has crashed seven times since Lars Stilig created a profile this morning. Minutes after Stilig uploaded his profile picture, the site was flooded with a torrent of traffic from existing users, as well as the biggest increase in membership sign-ups in the site's history.
Stilig, a Family Practice resident living in Loma Linda, Calif., populated his profile with details about his love for carefree Sabbath afternoon bird watching and exotic mission trips to the Carribean. His ideal date involved a romantic walk around an Adventist Book Center. Stilig added that he couldn't wait to marry the Adventist that would bear him his three beautiful Pathfinders.
"Word of the first hot guy to sign up for AdventistMatch has spread around the Adventist world like a flash flood," said Walla Walla University Communications professor Mahd Skhramble. "Imagine the energy generated by seeing a good-looking single guy walk through your church door for the first time and then multiply that by 144,000 and you'll get a feel for the impact this guy had on Adventism this morning."