First vegetarian Chick-fil-A to open at Southern Adventist University


FORT WORTH, TX - AUGUST 01: Drive through customers wait in line at a Chick-fil-A restaurant on August 1, 2012 in Fort Worth, Texas. Chick-fil-A resturants across the country experienced heavier than normal traffic after Mike Huckabee, the former governor of Arkansas and a 2008 presidential candidate, encouraged a "Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day" in support of the company's stance on gay marriage. (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — In a completely unprecedented innovation, chicken sandwich chain Chick-fil-A has announced plans to open its very first vegetarian restaurant on the campus of Southern Adventist University.

Newly-appointed Chick-fil-A Veggie Division spokesperson Noes Pollo said the chain decided to product-test its vegetarian line at Southern because of Collegedale’s “well-documented weakness for fake chicken.”

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Pollo said that Chick-fil-A market researchers had never come across a community that took to frying, barbecuing and even eating raw varieties of vegetarian chicken with as much enthusiasm.

“It borders on religious devotion,” said Pollo, who added that the chain had expansion plans ready in case the Southern experiment is a success.

“If this works we will be expanding to another town I’ve never heard of,” said Pollo.

“Berrien Springs.”


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15 Comments

    • Dan

      It would undoubtedly be closed BOTH Sabbaths and Sunday’s, but would open from one hour after sundown Saturday night to midnight to recoup (or re-coop) sales from serving binge veggie-chicken-eaters.

    • JERRY GARCIA

      IF THEY ARE VEGETARIAN, THEY MIGHT BE HIPPIES AND NOT SDA. AND IF THEY ARE HIPPIES, THEN ODDS ARE THEY ARE ATHEIST, PAGAN, POT SMOKING HOMELESS AND SHAMELESS FOLKS WITH STRONG BODY ODOR.

      THERE IS AN INTERESTING BOOK CALLED “VEGETARIANISM AND THE OCCULT” CHECK IT OUT.

  1. richard mills

    I’m gonna open a fast food joint down in Collegedale for deep fried
    Lilttle Debbies. I will be open on Sundays an one hour after sundown each Sabbath, local time. This is a win-win situation. The Grand Opening will be about October 22, 2016. Woe iz me!!

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