SILVER SPRING, Md. --- The General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has ordered all of the denomination's congregations to stop using the song Hear the pennies dropping in children's Sabbath School. A press release from the church headquarters explained that the song had been banned for encouraging young minds to be cheap with their offerings.
GC Stewardship Director, Morre Mites, claimed that the chorus had "helped raise generations of Adventists who seem to associate mere pennies with church giving."
Mites pushed back on member suggestions that instead of banning the song, the GC should simply update the beloved song with more aggressive wording in the spirit of preserving church heritage.
"We've already tried different lyrics at a number of Sabbath school testing sites and it gets way too wordy," said Mite. "Switching out the word 'pennies' for 'five-dollar-and-up-bills' is super clumsy. And besides you can't hear bills dropping."