Pre-blessed Big Franks to hit stores

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NASHVILLE, N. Car. — The owners of the Worthington / Loma Linda brand are set to test a pre-blessed version of the popular Big Franks veggie links. “Today’s Adventist consumers are so busy we thought it might help to ensure that our products are pre-blessed. That way diners don’t have to pray over them again before they eat,” said Sue Dempsey, spokesperson for Atlantic Natural Foods, the new owners of the Worthington brand.

To give more choice to consumers, Big Franks will come in three varieties: “Senior Pastor – Blessed”, “Head Elder – Blessed” and (for DIY enthusiasts) “YOU Pray”. Dempsey assures Big Franks fans that each and every can will be prayed over by pastors and elders that have already been hired and are receiving basic training on factory assembly lines.

If the pre-blessed links prove popular prayer practices will be rolled out to other Worthington products including FriChick, Choplets, Tender Bits and Super-Links. “We all know that not even the sky is the limit when it comes to prayer,” said Dempsey. “This innovation has the potential to revolutionize Adventist eating!”

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4 Comments

  1. Richard Mills

    Ha-Ha-I got you all beat!! I’ve been praying over, under, with around and about this stuff since I first had a taste of a NESPAK veggie hot dog many years ago. Good stuff-prayer or not. Why not pray for the consumers who try to cook this stuff!! Yummy, Yummy-not always good for your tummy. Gimme a Fuddrucker vegeburger anyday. Wholesome, No GMO or HMO. Deep fried in Caola oil. Woe is me!

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