Trump phones wiretapped with tech invented by Southern to spy on students

A milestone in Southern surveillance.
A milestone in Southern surveillance.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Trump administration has released actual details on how Trump Tower phones were allegedly wiretapped by the Obama administration.

“The technology used had been deployed for years by a Seventh-day Adventist school in Tennessee to monitor student phone conversation,” said Trump spokesperson Para Noya.

The prior White House administration had been incredibly impressed by Southern Adventist University’s efforts to monitor absolutely every facet of the student experience, said Noya.

All kidding aside, click to learn more about Union College

“It was a no-brainer to then use Southern’s patented technology to try to sniff out irregularities in Trump Tower phone conversations.”

As upset as the Trump administration is about the alleged wire-tapping, senior staffers admit to having developed a grudging respect for Southern.

“If we adopted their creative student fines policies on a national scale we could erase the deficit,” said Noya.


Advertise on BarelyAdventist

SPONSORED LINKS

Attention Adventist Film Fanatics: Don’t Miss the April 6-8 SONscreen Film Festival

WANTED: Adventists who are tired of being single. FREE! Adventist only dating site.

Share your Adventist faith & lifestyle through cool awesome t-shirts | SDAshirts.com

.

9 Comments

    • Just Replying

      Usually, there is a genuine reason for satire. In this case, according to responses to this post on another page, there are many people who have personally witnessed the wire tapping of student rooms at Adventist schools. This is actually illegal and deserves to be condemned. The disciple makers should be glad it is just satire and not a law suit.

      • John Beckett

        I was the person responsible for dorm room telephones at Southern for over a decade. Never during that time did the administration, even jokingly, encourage, ask for, or countenance in any way, wire taps. Nor were they done by technical people. Part of our responsibility was to protect student privacy. We took this very seriously.
        By the way, it would have been easy to do wire taps in our case – and the challenge if we’d chosen to do so would have been no preparation for an attack on Trump Tower.

  1. I would like to see Para Noya use this technology on how in the world do these pot luck cooks come up with those awful dishes!! Another use-the next GC in Indianapolis. Should be some useful info!. In the meantime, I’m sticking to my Little Debbies. Can’t go wrong supporting SDA businesses! As for “disciple makers”-could be used to separate the workers from the shirkers. Smart move, Brother Just!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *