Trump to ban haystacks for being Mexican

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NEW YORK, N.Y. — As President-Elect Donald Trump’s transition team rushed to form his cabinet, he sent a tweet that horrified Seventh-day Adventists across the nation: “Sorry @RealBenCarson, your church’s haystacks belong on the other side of the wall.”

Trump aides later clarified that Trump suspected haystacks of fueling pro-Mexican sentiment.

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“Haystacks are basically vegetarian taco salads, and as such they come to us from south of the border,” said Trump spokesperson Mary Lago. “We advise Adventists to switch their favorite dish to something that makes America great again.”

When asked if the haystacks ban would be extended to other forms of Mexican food, Lago said the Trump administration would take one step at a time.

“Shutting down every Mexican restaurant in America might take a while,” she said.

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“Especially if the President-Elect decides Taco Bell has to go.”


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6 Comments

  1. Kate

    He needs to be served one. Closing Mexican eateries, like closing French, Greek, Southern, Indian (mid-eastern food included) and Italian restaurants would be next reason for roiting.

  2. I suspect if Carson would bring Trump a haystack for lunch, the next thing the media would be complaining about would be the president-elect taking off work from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday every week. Much more effective evangelism than “Steps to Christ”

  3. Richard mills

    I can serve Little Debbie’s 101 ways to satisfy your pallet Also, made here in the USA. No GMO. Gluten free. Cage free. All organic. No pesticides. Etc. Dare we now call haystacks by another name? How about SDAstacks? Just asking!

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