BREAKING NEWS
GREENVILLE, S.C. — Adventists around the United States are pointing to an incident today involving Adventist presidential candidate Ben Carson as a reason not to eat ham. The former neurosurgeon was campaigning in Greenville, S.C. today and, while eating a meal of ham biscuits, scrambled eggs and grits, his front tooth dropped onto the plate. Carson scooped up the tooth and popped it into shirt pocket. He went on to deliver his speech while sporting a radically-altered look. “I’m proud of Dr. Carson for being brave enough to make a speech with a front tooth missing,” said Adventist Greenville native, Bubba Gunnings. “But he wouldn’t have lost the tooth if he’d been a good Adventist and laid off the ham.”
